Enough with the self esteem already

One of my teachers assigned an article called "Enough with the self-esteem already." Kind of weird, since self esteem is such a big part of our world, and a goal for everyone. The author points at that in our efforts to help people feel good about themselves, we have created a sense of entitlement.

The article talks about how many young adults feel like they "deserve" a career or good grades. The author expresses a hope that maybe with this recession, we will see a turn away from this entitlement and once again realize we must work hard to get jobs and to keep them. As she says, "Perhaps we are on our way back to the time when not getting fired was all the "self-esteem building" one could ask for."

What really struck me was her reference to a study described in the New York Times where it was discovered that students think they should get good grades for just gracing their seats in class. At the University of California-Irvine, "a third of students surveyed said that they expected B's just for attending lectures, and 40 percent said they deserved a B for completing the required reading." Granted, that's not everyone, but that's a pretty significant chunk of people.

The article's main point is that excellence and effort are not the same thing. It does not matter how hard you work on something if your work is crap. You don't deserve anything that you don't work for. What is with this sense of entitlement? "Well, I obviously think I'm pretty awesome, so therefore everyone should think I'm awesome. I deserve to have an awesome job, a nice car, and a sweet house."

Somewhere along the line, we entered this realm where everyone expects the same things everyone else is getting. "I studied just as long as him, therefore I deserve the same grade." But... he did better than you on the exam. "I applied for so many jobs and did so much recruiting, and she barely did anything, so she doesn't deserve a job if I can't get one." But... they liked her better than they liked you.

Granted, it's easy to feel disappointed and inadequate when your efforts fail you. Clearly I am not immune to this. But I think what we all need to watch out for is this idea that we deserve something. Times are tough, no one is going to hand you an awesome career on a silver platter. Many people around you are just as awesome as you are, believe it or not.

Whenever I have these thoughts, I think of what my more liberal friends would say. "What about the people who can't get a job, that's not fair." or "Some people are born into different circumstances and don't have all the opportunities you do." I understand that. And I hope that one day our country has done more to help these people be on level footing. And by that, I don't just mean our government. I mean our culture. But I really don't think the answer is saying that people deserve a job just because they have a degree/because they breathe. If that were the case, you would end up with way too many people in some fields, and everyone will make less money, unless the government funds their wages (and that's what we need, more government spending). That, or companies will have to hire people who won't help their productivity and companies will struggle even more to grow and turn a profit.

What do you think?