Wednesday, March 28, 2012


I’ve been in a blogging funk lately. The things I really want to talk about are too hard to put into words – and I’m kind of afraid of people reading them.

A lot of my thoughts have surrounded the church (Brother Bott, the role of women, the “perfect” nature of the church, the temple) – I’m afraid to share my thoughts on these because I don’t want people to question my testimony… and, more importantly, I don’t want to cause others to start questioning theirs. I’ve read blogs written by people who express their frustration with the church, and they have really made me reevaluate how I see things. There have been moments of darkness, doubt, and frustration. I’ve had to come up with my own ideas and beliefs about what is true – and I know those beliefs don’t sync up perfectly with what I’m “supposed” to believe, or with what I’ve been told to believe. I’m grateful for the chance I’ve had to take that journey and really challenge what I believe, because it has reassured me that the church is true, even if I see some things differently. I know that the church helps people become better and I know that what we believe about God is true and I know it’s where I should be. But what if others go down that path and it leads them away? I don’t really want to be the person who causes other people to doubt.

So, for now, I’ll avoid that topic, unless something (someone) convinces me otherwise.

Another thing I want to talk about is my experiences with Ernst &Young, but I’m avoiding writing about that out of fear that someone from work will see. What good is blogging when you can’t say what you want to say?