My Arch Nemesis

Despite my efforts to avoid this piece of technological, it has found me at my job. Until now, I have only had to face it for a few airport visits each year, where its use has been unavoidable.

No, I'm not talking about a metal detector, I'm talking about this:

THE AUTOMATIC SOAP DISPENSER.

Seriously, am I the only one who has major issues using this contraption??? I put my hand under it and.... nothing. I move my hand around and.... nothing. After looking like a total fool to any fellow bathroom users and contemplating walking out, hands unwashed, I somehow get lucky and make a magical swoosh with my hand, and there comes the soap.

At this point, I become very proud of myself. "You figured it out!" I tell myself. My next bathroom trip (usually about an hour later - I drink way too much water at work), I feel confident in my ability to DOMINATE the automatic soap dispenser. I walk up to it, show it my moves and.... NOTHING!! I can never figure it out!

It's gonna be a long summer.

And don't even get me started on automatic paper towel dispensers! (you seriously think I can dry my hands with that four inches of thin paper????)