My last post was about my internship interviews. Everyone was so impressed that I got interviews with these big national companies. I was pretty impressed myself, especially cuz Denver is a pretty small, competitive market. I've been planning on doing an internship in Denver this summer for about a year now. I've mentioned it to it to people like it was a fact. Because, in my mind, it was. Everyone gets an internship. They practically throw themselves at you. So I wasn't really worried about it. I applied for three of the five firms, so that I wouldn't be overwhelmed. One that I applied for decided not to do a summer internship program, so it was down to two.

When I was out in Denver, I thought to myself "I just don't know how I'll choose between these to firms! I really like both of them."


Well, lucky me! No need to choose. Not only did I get rejected from Deloitte, I also got rejected from Ernst and Young. Well, it's still kind of on the line with them. They sent out their first round of offers, and depending on how many people turn the offers down, I could have a chance. But I'm not counting on it.

I feel like such a loser. Everyone else is getting multiple internship offers. I couldn't even get one. I did my best. I was friendly and myself. I've worked my butt off in school. For what? My plans are totally screwed up.

I can still apply for these firms for a full time position next year. But what am I supposed to do this summer? I had this all planned out. I already put so much effort into this plan, and it's so frustrating to have to start over.

I feel so mediocre. Like I never excel at anything. In ballet, I was there everyday and still got shafted and got crappy parts. Summer fairy in Cinderella? Have you ever seen a more boring part? Especially comparing myself to the girls who danced that part the last time we did Cinderella... yeah apparently I really sucked. I was sugarplum but that's like the easiest lead part ever, you hardly do anything. There are other lead parts that like carry the whole show, like Cinderella or Aurora or even Ariel in Little Mermaid or Wendy in Peter Pan. Nothing.

When I applied to be an RA, I didn't even get the job at first. I only got it because someone else bailed and I had gone to the office to talk to them about it so they knew I wanted it.

I suck at making friends. I'm not crafty or a good decorator or a good cook. I'm not immensely spiritual. I'm not saving the world by going to Africa and helping people. I'm not athletic. I'm just mediocre.

The only thing I'm good at is school. Maybe I should just be a student for the rest of my life.

At the beginning of the week, I flew out to Denver for some interviews for internships. The plan is that you do an internship and if you don't totally screw it up, you get a full time offer. I got to spend time with the Palmers which was so fun, as always, and then they took me to my hotel in downtown Denver.

First of all, I was so spoiled. I got to fly right out of Provo, and I got to stay in the Grant Hyatt, with a king size bed! I had interviews with Ernst and Young on Monday and Deloitte on Tuesday. It all went well (except for almost forgetting to wear a bra the first day). For each one, we met in the morning and they fed us and then we did some interviews and then they took us out to lunch. I liked everyone I met at both firms and was wondering what I would do if I got an offer from both.

Not to worry. I already got a rejection call from Deloitte. It hurt. I cried a little. But it'll be ok. She told me that there is just a lot of interest in the internship and that everyone liked me and that I did really well, but there wasn't enough room. I'm not sure how much of that to believe, but whatever. I'm still waiting to hear back from Ernst & Young. Hopefully I'll get an internship offer... otherwise my summer plans totally fell through. There's another change in January, maybe I could get in with one of the smaller firms in Denver?

Now I just wait, and hope and pray.

My Homies

I'm supposed to be working on my technical accounting research paper right now... cuz that sounds like a whole lot of fun right?!


Instead, I found myself perusing facebook, and seeing a picture of us at Annette's wedding reception last night. Someone commented and said "I love seeing that former co-workers still get together and share great events in life!" That made me think about the people in that picture. It's this picture right here:

Yeah... it's not the most flattering picture of some of us (explanation: there were two people taking pictures and I think a lot of people were confused about where to look and when to smile). But looking at this picture makes me realize how glad I am that I was a CA last summer. The job SUCKED. Going through room after room after room putting out blankets and towels, searching for miniscule scratches that your bosses wanted you to put in work orders for, waking up early to take out the trash from disgusting little EFY children, getting yelled at by high maintenance menopausal women who want 4 towels. Not fun. But the people - oh my goodness. Some of the best people I've ever known.

I've been talking to Greg a lot this week about how I don't know how to be myself around people in my major because no one seems to understand me. Every time I am silly or crack a joke, I get weird reactions. So going to Annette's reception last night with my homies was a blast. I could be crazy, bust a move, laugh really loud, and say dumb things and no one looked at me like I was a freak.

Shout out about Annette's wedding reception- I've only been to like 3 receptions but holy cow, Annette's was beautiful. The venue was gorgeous. Her dress was gorgeous. Her bouquet was phenomenal, her hair fancyy. Her husband suit was stylin. The food was yummy. The events were well planned. Loved it.

For your amusement...

An embarrassing story:

My old roommate Shelbey has the cutest clothes and is very fashionable. After we were no longer roommates, she told me she had a shirt that she didn't really like how it looked on her, but that she thought would look cute on me, so she gave it to me. I loved it! It was a really cute shirt, totally my style.

In January of this year, I had just met Greg, and we made plans to go to the Condaleeza Rice forum together. I wanted to look good. So I put on my skinny jeans, my new gray boots, and my new hand-me-down shirt. I walked to the Marriott Center, and when I got there and took off my coat, I noticed a foul stench. During the forum, I realized that the stench was coming from me! I was so grossed out - I've never smelled anything like it before. Granted, I did walk to the Marriott center in a coat and I sweat a little, but didn't I put on deodorant?!!? I just hoped Greg wouldn't smell it. I was so humiliated- not to mention concerned.

After the forum I took a lengthy shower, trying to scrub away that nasty smell. I considered buying a new deodorant. I was disturbed by this foul odor.

Later that week, I saw Shelbey and told her my embarrassing story. Halfway through she started laughing and said "Oh my gosh, I think I used to wear that shirt back when I had really bad sweating problems, and I don't think I washed it before I gave it to you!"

What are friends for.

PS Luckily Greg did not notice the smell. I confirmed that later when I knew him better.