Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Twoo Wuv

Something that’s been on my mind a lot lately…


And no, not in terms of “Oh my gosh, I’m getting married soon, this is so exciting, yay wedding!” More like “How does the world view marriage?” “Why is it important to me?” “Why do some people see it differently?”

I think it’s fair to say that most people don’t really value marriage. Maybe they want to be married *one day*, maybe they never want to get married. And I can hardly blame them! Marriages have been on a fast decline. How many people actually get married and stay married? And how many of the people who do stay married are happy?

Today one of my coworkers asked “What’s the rush?” in response to the classic stories of “my friend so-and-so only dated his wife for 3 weeks before they got engaged and then they were engaged for 2 months and blah blah blah.” It made me think – why are people in a rush to get married? Or, rather, why do people perceive most Mormon’s and being in a rush to get married?

I came to the realization that it is due to our desire to get married. I think that is a much more accurate description than saying we’re “in a rush.” We equate “family” and “happiness” and “love” and “home” with marriage. Naturally it’s something we value and desire. We know that true happiness comes in a loving home.

Oh, but aren’t we just so unrealistic to think that marriage is happy? Isn’t it so stupid of us to think that marriage is more about the hard work you put in after you say “I do”/ “Yes” than it is about knowing each other for years beforehand? Why should we have to work in a marriage? Aren’t we so naïve for wanting to work for a marriage? Shouldn’t we just take more time to look for the person who everything will be perfect with? Aren’t we so dumb for not dating for years and years and years before we get married so we can really be sure that we can get along with this person?

Whoah whoah whoah… let’s talk about naïve for a second. How naïve is it to think that being with someone won’t take work? How naïve is it to think that, with time, you will find someone who is *perfect* for you? How ridiculous is it to think that a marriage isn’t successful or isn’t worth it if you have disagreements?

I’m sure most of my friends were SHOCKED when they found out I was engaged. Greg and I met in January and were engaged at the end of March. Trust me; I never thought that would be me. I totally judged people who got engaged quick. But guess what? I am 100% sure of my decision. I know I still have a lot to learn about Greg – but people who have been married for years are still learning things about each other all the time. I know marriage will take work – but not matter how long we dated, marriage will still take work.

I know that Greg can drive me crazier than anyone else on this planet. But I also know that when I’ve had a bad day, when I’m feeling insecure, inadequate, hurt, scared or even when I’m super happy, Greg will be right there to share in that with me. I know marriages can become stale, relationships can become static. But the thought that I will always be able to turn to him when I need someone, or that I will be able to be there for him when he needs me makes it all worth it.

Years down the road, we’ll have kids and will be super busy and we’ll spend more time with our kids or at work than we will with each other. Some people might never even see us show affection to one another. But I know that at the end of the day, he’ll always be there for me. I’ll be able to lay down in bed and tell him what’s on my mind. And that’s totally worth it. No matter how much our relationship changes from how it is now, no matter how much the romance dies, he will always be my best friend and my confidante. He will always be there to dry the tears and heal a hurting heart.

Plus he’s super hot. Who wouldn't want to marry him?!