My Faith Journey: Part 2

Part 1

One of my clearest memories of attending church as a child was stopping at Taco Bell on the way home. Also, skipping sacrament meeting and just going for Primary. 

Each time I went to church, I picked up on little tidbits of what was right and wrong. It was always very clear that we should be going to church every week. I knew what it meant to keep the Sabbath day holy and that it wasn’t good to eat Taco Bell after church. But that’s just the way we lived. One day, my teacher was taking roll in Primary and she asked me if I attended church when I was at my mom’s house every other weekend. Eventually, I brought this up with my mom and she told me that she would take me to church, so I started going to church by myself when I was at my mom’s house. I would go to all three hours, all by myself, at a new church where I didn’t know anyone, all because I felt this desire to do what was right. I tried to participate. I memorized Articles of Faith. I sang the songs. And I continued learning what was right and wrong.

I was too scared to speak up in church. It was like a foreign language, and I was terrified of saying something wrong. Even praying made me uncomfortable because it wasn’t something I had a lot of practice with (I still don’t like being called on to pray).

When people would bear their testimonies of the truthfulness of the church and share stories about the spirit speaking to them or comforting them, I was very interested. I really believe them, believed that they knew the church was true. A small part of me wanted to feel that way.

I used to drink coffee when I was at my mom’s house. One day, we were driving to the store and we were almost out of gas and my mom was worried that she wouldn’t make it to the gas station. I prayed with all my little heart that if we made it to the gas station, I would never drink coffee again. And we made it.

When I was in seventh grade, my social studies teacher taught us that Mormons currently practice polygamy and talked about how wrong that was. I knew it wasn’t true, and it really bothered me, so I went home and read Joseph Smith History… like that has anything to do with polygamy, but whatever. That was probably my first real experience with reading the scriptures. The next day, I went up to my teacher and told her that Mormons don’t practice polygamy anymore and proceeded to tell her the story of the first vision. Awkward.

I think my parents always intended for my brother and I to grow up connected to the church in some way. When we were older, they would take us to mutual (a weeknight activity for the teenagers) and support us in anything did with church. But I didn’t have any friends. After being in this ward (congregation) for years, I still didn’t have any friends. Most of this was due to the fact that I was a super brat when I was younger and a lot of it was because I didn’t spend very much time around people from church. So I quickly learned to resent them.

I played the fun game of “These people think they’re soooo good, so I’m gonna be a rebel and act all hard core.” Believe me, I wasn’t hardcore. But I hated how good they all were, how they acted like everything was so perfect. They had family home evening, attended church with their families every week, read the scriptures and prayed, and knew all the answers to the questions. These feelings still linger to this day and I have a hard time being around super spiritual people (which makes BYU a barrel of laughs sometimes).

Stove popped popcorn

Have you ever had fresh popped popcorn? Like not from the microwave? It's pretty awesome. But when I think of popping popcorn, I generally think of an air popper, and I don't need another random kitchen appliance, thank you very much.

So imagine my surprise when I learned that you could pop popcorn on your stove. When I was in high school, I had a friend whose family made popcorn on the stove and it was de-licious. I had never had it before in my life and it really tastes a billion times better than the microwave popped popcorn, and its healthier. I fell in love with it.

When I came to college, I decided to try to make some on my own. I followed the instructions on the popcorn kernel bag and it was a fail. Time after time. I had to ask my friend's mom for a lesson and now I am professional. I introduced Greg to it, and he loves it. He is now the designated popcorn maker, and he makes it ALL THE TIME. People we've shared it with have seemed to really like it, so I figured I'd do a little post about how to make it.

For starters, you'll want a pot about this size. You can do taller, but I wouldn't go much smaller.

You'll also need oil (vegetable or canola), butter or margarine (whichever you prefer), and popcorn kernels. I haven't noticed any differences between white and yellow kernels.

Pour a flat layer of kernels into the bottom of the pan, covering the bottom of the pan. Add enough oil to coat the kernels, tilting the pan until all the kernels are covered by oil. Don't add too much oil! The oil will thin and spread when you start heating it, and the kernels will burn if you use too much oil.

Cover the pot and turn the heat on high. Eventually, some kernels will start to pop!

Every now and then, shake the pot side to side, but leave the heat on. Eventually, you will have a full pot of popcorn! Take the pot off the heat once it is full or when the popping has slowed to every few seconds. Empty the popcorn into a big bowl.

Greg and I like to use the residual heat from the coils to melt the butter/margarine (we use 2 1/2 tsp). If you have a gas stove you can use low heat. Of course the microwave is always an option.

Carefully drizzle the butter over the popcorn, stirring it in. Then salt it to taste!

Mmmmm

My Faith Journey: Part 1

{For this to make sense, you might need a briefing on my family: my parents got divorced when I was little and I grew up with my dad and stepmom. I consider all three of them - mom, dad, stepmom - my parents}

All of my parents were raised in the church, to varying degrees. I don't know all of the details of how they were raised, so a lot of this is just inferred  I think my dad's parents were not super active in the church, same with my stepmom. My mom's family was pretty classic Mormon with oodles and oodles of children who were all pretty active in the church through their young lives.

After my parents got divorced, there was a routine that my brother and I would go to my mom's house every other weekend. I do have early memories of attending church with my dad as a very young child. I can remember my dad dropping me off at nursery and telling me he would "be right back," so I would stop crying and go play. I know that we didn't attend regularly because I remember being in Primary and feeling really shy because I didn't know any of the other kids or the songs they were singing.

I was baptized when I was 8 and I had a pretty clear idea of what was expected of me. I remember trying to read my brand new set of scriptures... I started in Hebrews because Hebrew is one of the origins of my name.... big mistake!

I was aware that my family was Mormon. It wasn't until I was in about 2nd grade that I realized that not everyone was Mormon. I remember a primary program where kids got up and read stories about people making fun of them for being Mormon and how they stood up for what they believed. I was so confused because I didn't know that there were hundreds of different religions.

Even as a young child, I was aware that my family didn't live like the other families at church. One day at school, a friend told me that Mormons couldn't go to six flags. Later that week, at church, everyone was talking about how people think such weird things about Mormons, even though we're obviously just so normal, and I brought that story up - "Yeah, my friend thought that Mormons can't go to Six Flags!" As soon as I said it, my heart sank and I started to panic... maybe Mormons really aren't supposed to go to Six Flags and I just admitted something I shouldn't have. Luckily, the other girls giggled and agreed that it was silly.

I didn't like going to church. I didn't know anyone there, I didn't know my teachers, and I liked sleeping in and playing video games on Sundays. I was perfectly content to not go to church.

Grrrr....

I found this gem on facebook, with the caption, "I'd be happy to see a woman pray in General Conference. But this is ridiculous."

My wonderful friend Annette responded, " If you would really be happy to see a woman pray in general conference...then why on earth do you think this is ridiculous?"

Amen. But really... I don't understand why someone who would be happy to see women pray in General Conference would post this meme. Maybe what he meant to say is that he is indifferent to the concept of women praying in GC so he doesn't understand why some people care enough to put effort into this cause? Because if it would really make him happy to see a woman pray in conference, then he would understand that this effort is a way to help make that happen...

Later, someone responded to Annette and said that this effort is making a mountain out of a molehill.

Seriously?! Do people really think that other people just sit around, find things that aren't a big deal to them, and then put time and effort into them? Like, hmm, this doesn't seem like a very big deal, but I'm just super bored so I'm going to organize an event, make a facebook page, and put time and effort into writing several letters?????? Meh, it’s not like I have any other pressures on my time, like work, school, and relationships... might as well adopt a lame cause!

Dude. Just because this doesn't seem like a big deal to you does not mean it isn't allowed to be a big deal to anyone else. You can't tell me what is a mountain and what is a molehill. Please, define what is and isn't important to you. Try to not waste time on unimportant things and focus on what is important to you.

But don't try and tell me that something I care about is a molehill.

Let Women Pray At General Conference

A lot of members of the church are uncomfortable with anyone questioning the way things are. In a discussion with a professor at school about several aspects of the church, I was warned that asking "why" gets you in to trouble.

I don't agree with this. Not in the slightest. I believe in asking why.

On the facebook page for this event, several people have made statements like "Don't you think that if God wanted women to pray in General Conference, they would be?" Maybe you see it differently, but I see spots in our church's past that I don't think went the way that God would want them to go. Or, even less extreme, maybe some things just were never really that important to him. Can you not see how the church's position has changed over time? From the very garments we wear, to the very temple ceremonies we participate it, to becoming more accepting and loving towards homosexuals. Things change. And I think this is one of those things that can change.

One last comment - just because you might not agree with these things, don't assume that those around you who do are beneath you. Don't try to teach them the way things are supposed to be. Because, lezbe honest, in regards to these types of issues, the way you think things are supposed to be is just as much of an opinion as the way I think things should be.

Winter 2013

The first week of a semester always kills me. I inevitably question my ability to do everything that the semester will require. I feel overwhelmed and stressed and have a hard time transitioning from relaxed vacation mode to school mode. I feel like I have homework to do, but I don't want to do it, so I just sit there feeling stressed about all the homework I have to do, but not doing anything about it.

I'm particularly disliking this semester because I have senioritis, I am not really stoked about any of the classes I'm taking, and only a couple of my teachers seem very awesome. Advanced financial accounting and  advanced corporate finance... are you jealous yet? What about money & economics? You know you wish you were me! I have four classes on Monday and Wednesday, which is actually quite a doozy, so maybe I should switch to another section of one class that meets Tue/Thurs.

Luckily, my friends Jessica and Ariel got me out of the house to go see a movie. We saw Pitch Perfect and I laughed so hard. I cannot remember the last time I loved a movie so much. Jessica has seen the movie several times, and now I understand why - as soon as I left the movie, I wanted to see it again. It. Was. Hilarious. I wouldn't recommend it to everyone, but if you've been considering seeing it, SEE IT.

We also saw The Hobbit... I'm not much of a Lord of the Rings fan (I have seen the first two movies and had a really hard time following what was happening), but I enjoyed the Hobbit. It was easy to follow, but I did feel like it was a little long and repetitive. They're on a journey and something bad happens, but they get out of it... then something bad happens, but they get out of it.... then something bad happens, but they get out of it... and so on

In other news, Greg just lost his 3rd phone within 6 months due to water damage. The first one was dropped in a sink full of dirty dish water, the second went through the wash (my bad), and the third was dropped into... well, let's not go there. Suffice it to say there was water damage. Add a faulty Craiglist phone to the mix, and that puts Greg at phone number 5 in about 6 months! For some reason, this just really cracks me up.

10 random things

A lighthearted post for today - 10 random facts

1. I LOVE sleeping. It is probably one of my favorite things. Greg and I usually go to sleep around 10 and wake up at 6:30 and I am still sleepy. Getting in bed and feeling all snug under the covers - probably consistently my favorite part of the day.

2. But, I don't like naps. I almost always feel gross after waking up from a nap and I would much rather go to sleep early than toss and turn all night because I took a  nap and now can't sleep.

3. I have a weird habit of not finishing food, particularly glasses of milk, bowls of cereal, and sandwiches. I'm not sure why. Just looking at the last little bit of food is not appetizing.

4. My sense of smell is strong and a little wacko. I smell everything, even smells that aren't real. I have been woken up in the morning by smells from the trash in the kitchen. I can smell when our downstairs neighbor is making bread. I always smell things that Greg doesn't smell. I'm not pregnant, but if this gets worse when I am pregnant, it's gonna be bad. Smells that don't seem to bother normal people bother me - like the smell of hair. Because of this, I don't like perfumes and sprays. They are so overpowering and give me headaches. I even smell my deodorant throughout the day and get headaches.

5. This fun fact is courtesy of my old roommate, Shelbey, who pointed out that I habitually look things up online. Like if we're sitting around talking about something, I'll look it up online to learn more about it. Ever since she pointed it out, I realize I do this ALL THE TIME. In class, hanging out with friends, chilling and watching TV. What can I say... I like to learn...?

6. I don't like to do things that other people have told me to do. This is only true in certain contexts, mainly situations where what they're telling me to do is something I already feel insecure about. Best example - visiting teaching. I really like the concept of visiting teaching, but as soon as someone reminds me to do visiting teaching or tells me to go set up an appointment, I freeze. I don't want to do it. Immature and stubborn? Yes. In other situations, I just feeling awkward doing what someone has told me to do because it feels fake and forced.

7. I despise working out. The only things I enjoy doing are ballet and swimming, but swimming is so inconvenient.

8. I am a feminist. How cliche - I went to college and became a feminist.

9. I hesitate to say this, because there is a negative connotation associated with this word, but the political party I most closely identify with is the libertarian party. Why? Because in many ways it matches how I feel about fiscal issues (free markets, etc) and social issues (legalizing gay marriage, etc)

10. The one calling I would seriously consider turning down would be to work in the nursery. I don't understand babies. My ideal calling - young women's adviser. I have a feeling that if I were called into young women's I wouldn't last long and I'd probably get in trouble for corrupting their young minds with thoughts of equality and empowerment.