Sleep tight...

We had a bed bugs scare at the beginning of the year. Greg woke up with some red marks on his torso and initially thought it was a rash. After some internet research he started thinking maybe they were some kind of bite. I was out of town while all of this was going down, and when I got back, Greg was still on the fence about what they were. We had just gotten back from Christmas break so something might have gotten into our luggage on the plane. I had also been taking several work trips, so maybe I brought them back from a hotel? We never owned a bed frame, so our box springs and mattress were just down on the carpet, so they could have just come from the apartment and had easy access to our bed.  I came home and didn't get any bites after sleeping in our bed, but Greg kept getting more bites, so we went in to full panic mode. Bed bugs are awful creatures and it was so stressful thinking we might have them in our home.  We stripped the bed and threw away our mattress pad and washed the sheets and all of the clothes in our closet. But then we were dumb and put our clean clothes in the kitchen, thinking it would be safe.

Our apartment complex paid someone to come spray who told us our clothes were not safe in the kitchen so we had to dry all of our clothes on high heat for thirty minutes to kill any bugs/eggs and seal them in bags. Not just the clothes in our closet and dresser but also all of our summer clothes that were stored away. We had to vacuum EVERYTHING and throw away any loose papers or boxes. Then we had to put away all of our food and dishes so they wouldn't get pesticide on them.  We had to buy bedbug proof mattress and box springs covers and these little bed bug interceptors (easily $80 right there).  It was exhausting and so stressful because I felt like if we didn't do everything right, the bed bugs might just hang on. The guy came to spray and said he'd be back in a month to spray again, and in the meantime to keep everything sealed up.  Greg and I left out like 5 outfits in big ziploc bags to wear day to do... for a month.  The same five things every week. Luckily it was winter (aka hell) and all I wanted to wear was pants and sweaters anyways.

I would definitely recommend these mattress covers to anyone renting or frequently traveling. Mattresses are expensive and can't just be thrown in the dryer like the rest of your clothes! Plus, they're just a really high quality mattress cover, even if you never have to deal with bed bugs:

http://www.amazon.com/Hospitology-Defense-Waterproof-Mattress-Encasement/dp/B005OLK55A/ref=sr_1_1?s=home-garden&ie=UTF8&qid=1397181052&sr=1-1&keywords=bed+bug+mattress+cover


Oddly enough, Greg didn't get a single bite after we threw our old mattress pad away, which is one of the first things we did. To this day, I'm not 100% convinced we actually had bed bugs.

the favorite stall

Do you have a favorite bathroom stall at work or school? I do. It used to be the first one, until I walked in to find pee splattered all over seat and had to default to another stall one too many times. Then my favorite stall became the last one, the one right before the handicapped stall. Until I walked in to find pee splattered all over the seat and had to default to another stall one too many times.

Is nowhere safe in this world?!

 

And no, I am not the one peeing all over the seat, thank you very much.

Catchup

--Can we just talk about how annoying Matt Walsh is? Here's a link to his blog if you want to check it out (http://themattwalshblog.com). I am so sick of seeing everyone share his blog posts. I don't know how people can read the things he writes and feel good and happy about them. He is so arrogant, condescending, and overall annoying. He acts like his opinion is the only one that matters and anyone who disagrees with him is an idiot. Every time I read any of his posts, even if he hits on some things I agree with, I just come away from it feeling angry. Seriously, this guy is obviously full of himself and his ego is out of control. I don't think I've read a single post of his where he doesn't wax poetic about how great he is. GET OVER YOURSELF DUDE.

--It's starting to get cold here. I'm really not going to like this humid cold. And the wind! Oh dear, the wind. The other day, when I was walking to lunch, the wind was literally pushing me forward. But, luckily, starting in December I will be able to park in the parking garage that is connected to our office building by an underground tunnel so I won't have to walk to the building in the cold!

--I really love my job. We rotate audits every 4 months, so I finished my first one and am well into my second. The first one was so fun, I loved my team and learned a lot. Long story short, we were auditing an internal system employees use to order materials. My new audit is generically called "Contractor Audit." We audit contractors the company pays to provide services. At the beginning of October, I got to go to Denver for a week because there were a lot of contractors out there doing pretty extensive repairs from damage caused by the floods in the area. Here is a crazy picture:

That line of water running down the middle shows where the water ran under the track and washed away the mountain... leaving the track dangling in midair! This picture was taken from a helicopter so it looks small, but the washout left a hole about 80 ft high. This happened halfway through September and they have the line up and running now, but they still have contractors out working on it and finishing things up.

The work itself wasn't that exciting. We spent most of out time reviewing invoice support. But it was fun to travel with people from work and get to know them better and we did get to see some cool stuff!

--I'm still having a hard time making friends out here. I am so thankful that Greg has an old college roommate who already lived in Omaha with his wife when we moved out here. Their friendship has been a saving grace. They even like to play Dominion with us! And they have the cutest little boy. It's been a little discouraging to still not have friends, especially when our efforts fall flat or get rejected. I can be pretty self-conscious about my personality especially when I'm around people I don't know very well... which is pretty much everyone in my life at this point, so it gets really exhausting. At least Greg and I get along great :)

--I passed my first CPA test, I take my second the day before Thanksgiving! If I stay on track, I'll take my last test in May.

--Maybe one day I'll sit down and write about the Women in Business event I attended at BYU... maybe.

Seven Years

Seven years ago today, my parents came into my room early in the morning. I don't remember what they said, but the message was clear. I went into their bedroom, sat down on the bed, and held my little brother's hand.

He was already gone. He had passed away before they came and got me. But I laid there and held his hand. I laid there until a stranger with a hearse came and took his body away from us.

He was only 6 years old, weeks away from 7. He was sick for less than a year.

Tommy had a brain tumor that chemotherapy and radiation couldn't fight. Cancer always sucks, but there is a special suckiness about seeing a small child go through all of that.

September is childhood cancer awareness month.

In 2013 11,600 children will be diagnosed with cancer. That's 32 children a day. 
Cancer is the second leading cause of death in children younger than 15 years old (after accidents). 
About 1,310 children are expected to die from cancer in 2013. That's 3 children a day

There is an organization dedicated to supporting cancer research and the children and families affected by it. If you feel so inclined, you can read more about my sweet brother Tommy and donate here.

Two Years

Today Greg and I celebrate our second anniversary. I realize that's pretty small potatoes in the grand scheme of things, but it is still worth celebrating and I welcome the chance to reminisce.

I didn't feel any anxiety about marrying Greg. We fell in love quickly, but it was the real deal. We were both ready to start our life together, side by side, through thick and thin.

I love being married to Greg. I love our late night pillow talk of everything ranging from economics to our future family to how we would handle a zombie apocalypse. I love starting a road trip with an hour long discussion about affirmative action. I love playing Super Mario until we're each blue in the face because of how dumb the other is being (wii Mario multiplayer is some crazy stuff). I love going on walks and planning our budget and savings goals. I love how we both just look at each other and bust out laughing over the same. dumb. things. I love how I can just talk and talk and talk about the same thing over and over and over again, completely psychoanalyzing myself and reciting my entire train of thought from start to finish. I love how quiet, introspective Greg, who doesn't tell anyone what he's feeling, opens up to me.  I love that I get to see a side of Greg's personality that no one else gets to see - a silly, goofy, talk-in-weird-voices and make-weird-faces-side of Greg. A sensitive, thoughtful side of Greg. I love that we're on the same team and working towards the same goals. I love that we are both independent enough to be comfortable doing our own thing when we want to. I love that we can both stand up to one another and flat out disagree and debate and respect our individuality. I love having a safe place to be myself 100% and to continue on the constant journey of self-discovery.

When I think about how much I've grown and changed and about all that I've been able to accomplish over the last two years, I realize that I would not be the person I am today if Greg wasn't in my life. Before we got married, I had no intentions to pursue a career. I had no feminist inklings. What if these changes had happened with someone much less supportive of my non-traditional thoughts? Without his love and support and the comfort I find in him, would I have done the internships I did? Would I have decided to pursue a career and found my current job, which I love? Would I have gone on this journey of trying to understand what I really want out of life? What other Mormon man would encourage me to pursue a career and sacrifice so many of his own potential opportunities to support me, without even batting an eye?

I'm not sure I quite live up to all Greg has done for me. I worry that I fall short, but he assures me that I don't.

I can't speak for all marriages, but being married to Greg is the easiest, most natural, and most meaningful friendship and relationship I have ever had.

In our natural habitat - Camping at Mesa Verde

Thanksgiving 2012 - Chopping down the Christmas tree

 Thanksgiving 2012 - Christmas card picture

 January 2013 - Birthday Dinner

Another natural habitat - playing games

 April 2013 - Graduation!!

April 2013 - Emily and Eric's sealing (we try to clean up nicely)

Historic UP 844 Steam Engine

Teamwork! 

 Kansas City for the Cheifs game

Working full time is hard. So was school, but this is a different kind of hard.

In school, you have a bunch of different classes and they're all at different times. My Monday schedule was different from my Tuesday schedule. Add into that the variety of group meetings and other "extras," and each day was different. I had several hours throughout my day where I wasn't in class and could relax and read, watch tv, or catch up on homework. I was busy, but my day was very spread out and I had a lot of control over where I was and when. I could choose to skip a class and could choose when to schedule meetings and when to do homework.

Now, my day is like this: I was up at 6:30, leave at 7:20 and get to work a little before 8. Then I sit at my desk until 11 or noon, when I take my lunch break. Then I go back to my desk and sit there until 5 (There are meetings here and there, but I just go where I'm told). Then I go home, getting home around 5:40. We watch Big Bang Theory reruns and talk about our days. Tuesday is So You Think You Can Dance, Wednesday is Master Chef. I squeeze in about an hour of studying for the CPA exam (I take the first section at the end of August!) and then head to bed around 10.

I have time at home from 5:40 till 10. That's a little over 4 hours, which is a decent amount of time. But it hardly feels like any time. I am so. freaking. tired. I just feel so lazy! The last thing I want to do is even think about what is for dinner. I just want to sit on the couch and watch TV and not think about anything. Forget about cleaning anything. I get things out and don't put them away. I can't tell you how many times I've walked into the kitchen and found the mustard/eggs/milk I left out on the counter the night before. It doesn't help that our kitchen isn't visible from the living room and I hardly go in there. I can't focus on anything!

I need to figure this out. There really is no excuse for not accomplishing anything in the 4 hours I'm home at night. And let's be real, all I did at work was sit on my butt, why do I feel the need to do that all night? I think it's just that I need "me" time. I need to just do what I want to do. I have a really hard time with people imposing rigid rules on my life, and it honestly kind of hurts my spirits to have expectations of when I will arrive at and leave from work.

But I'm getting really sick of feeling like this. Sick of just wasting time... when you don't do anything, 4 whole hours feels like nothing.

Any advice from you expert full timers out there?

Doubt

Greg introduced me to the movie Doubt. It's a really good movie that is an adaptation of a play, and it has Meryl Streep in it, so hello. It is about a Catholic church/school and at the beginning of the movie, the priest gives this sermon:

What do you do when you’re not sure? That’s the topic of my sermon today.

Last year, when President Kennedy was assassinated, who among us did not experience the most profound disorientation? Despair? Which way? What now? What do I say to my kids? What do I tell myself? It was a time of people sitting together, bound together by a common feeling of hopelessness. But think of that! Your BOND with your fellow being was your Despair. It was a public experience. It was awful, but we were in it together.

 How much worse is it then for the lone man, the lone woman, stricken by a private calamity?

‘No one knows I’m sick.’

‘No one knows I’ve lost my last real friend.’

‘No one knows I’ve done something wrong.’

Imagine the isolation. Now you see the world as through a window. On one side of the glass: happy, untroubled people, and on the other side: you.

I want to tell you a story. A cargo ship sank one night. It caught fire and went down. And only this one sailor survived. He found a lifeboat, rigged a sail…and being of a nautical discipline…turned his eyes to the Heavens and read the stars. He set a course for his home, and exhausted, fell asleep. Clouds rolled in. And for the next twenty nights, he could no longer see the stars. He thought he was on course, but there was no way to be certain. And as the days rolled on, and the sailor wasted away, he began to have doubts. Had he set his course right? Was he still going on towards his home? Or was he horribly lost… and doomed to a terrible death? No way to know. The message of the constellations - had he imagined it because of his desperate circumstance? Or had he seen truth once… and now had to hold on to it without further reassurance? 

There are those of you in church today who know exactly the crisis of faith I describe. And I want to say to you:DOUBT can be a bond as powerful and sustaining as certainty. When you are lost, you are not alone.

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.